To Have and To Hold: Loving Your Vulnerable Self to Live Your Biggest Life
The most human experience of all is the knowledge that we are vulnerable. We have limits to control over outcomes that matter to us. Forces larger than ourselves contribute to how things work out (or not) in our lives.
We are vulnerable to other people: we cannot make others respect us, be generous with us, care about us, or leave us alone unless they so decide. We are vulnerable to outer circumstances of the world: the economy, the weather, forces of gravity or other forces of nature, the passage of time. We are vulnerable in our own bodies: we get sick, we can be injured, we age, and we inevitably will die.
We do not control others, the world, our bodies. Even more vulnerable, we do not ultimately control our emotions. Emotion is a flow of information and energy arising out of our unique inner makeup as it interacts with the external world. We can grow our ability to notice and regulate and express our emotions, but we do not create them.
We can be hurt in so many ways. And that is the message that arises in dissonance.
Whether you are aware of it or not, your body is trying to talk to you. It speaks of this tender human truth: we are vulnerable. But vulnerability is not danger! We need to come home to the body to reassure it that it is safe. Our attention in the moment in the body is the evidence to the body that we are safe. And when we feel safe, we can grow.