The people described in this blog are composites of many different clients with whom I have worked. Names and identifying characteristics are fictitious, and any resemblance to a single person is coincidental.

To Have and To Hold

The November wind is wailing outside my window, rain hitting the panes with a sloppy rhythm that makes me want to pull my sleeves down over my wrists to keep me warm.  The last time I wrote in this blog it was the height of summer.  It was the morning of my wedding.  The thought of it now warms me even more than my red fleece.

The day was all glorious blue sky and faces illuminated with joy.  Kelly and I gazing deeply into each other’s souls committing all that we are and all that we have, each to the other.  Delight and gratitude mingled as we were held in the loving hearts and minds of those most precious to us.  To have and to hold.  Our promise to make ourselves safe havens for the other, fostering our growth into our most powerful selves.  And after, we left for a magical honeymoon in Bali, a place of beauty and rest and nature where people are right there, behind their eyes, present for connection.

To have and to holdHome now for a few months, I am longing to write again, to reconnect with those who, like me, are hungry to live their biggest lives.

And I want to continue to invite you to approach yourself in the moment in the body, so you can be filled with what it feels like to be you.

Just in this moment, are you willing to feel you?  Are you open to what your body is saying?   Just to notice yourself in the moment is success.  In this busy fast paced world of ours, where so much is oriented to the outside world and external markers of value and success, it seems odd to direct attention to your clenched jaw or your constricted diaphragm.  Yet in saying hello to your body you enter into the most significant relationship you can have: the love story between you and you.

The part of you that is finite and limited, your physical self, has given itself as a brilliant intelligent home for the part of you that is infinite and limitless, your consciousness.  This relationship is the foundation stone for everything in your life.  To have: your bodily experience of this life.  To hold: your conscious reflection upon that experience.

Our ability to be present for ourselves requires that we can tolerate what that feels like.  And what that feels like is, often, anxiety: the tension and physiological arousal that signals our vulnerability.  Because we are vulnerable.  Life itself is vulnerable.  Love is vulnerable.  So many things in this life cannot be controlled.  We long for so much that we cannot secure.  And we have a choice, when we recognize the felt sense of vulnerability in the body.  We can approach ourselves and grow into our most powerful and authentic selves.  Or we can avoid our uncomfortable feelings, defend against our inner truth, and find ourselves stuck in old patterns.

Will you commit to you?  To have and to hold yourself with warm interest and non judgement?  To become a safe haven for all of your experience?

Let me remind you once more, you are so very worth it.

Photo Credit: Kelly Dean

Dr. Sandra Parker, copyright 2009 - Dr. Sandra Parker. The stories & quotes in this blog are fictional. Creative commons attribution, non-commercial sharing only.
(translation: feel free to quote me in context or use this entry but please always credit me for my work, thanks.)

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