The most human experience of all is the knowledge that we are vulnerable.

We do not actually have ultimate control over the most meaningful aspects of our experiences. This is because the most important dimensions of our lives arise out of our feelings. Core emotion flows through us like a biological river, originating in our reactions to internal and external stimuli. So while we can learn how to ride that river of feeling, we cannot actually control it.

Our vulnerability arises in our relationships with others: we cannot make others respect us, be generous with us, care about us, or leave us alone unless they so decide. Our vulnerability arises in the outer circumstances of the world: the economy, the weather, forces of gravity or other forces of nature, the passage of time.  It is there in our own bodies: we get sick, injured, we age, and we inevitably will die.

We do not control others, the world, our bodies – and even more, we do not ultimately control what we feel. We can make choices about that flow of information and energy within us – to notice and regulate and express it appropriately – but it is what it is.

We can be hurt in so many ways.

And that is the message that arises in signal anxiety. 

Whether you are aware of it or not, your anxiety is trying to talk to you.  It speaks to us of this tender human truth.  We are vulnerable.  And if we listen we can enhance our capacity to be present. And we can grow.