Resilience is the ability to bounce back from life's challenges without hardening against the world, other people, amd our true selves.
At the heart of resilience is the ability to be present with the body. We need to be in the body carefully enough and long enough to answer its' question: "Am I safe?" If you do not answer this question the body assumes you are not safe and defaults into survival mode. "Better safe than sorry" Mother Nature says. A closed tense body and a narrowly focused mind are a great match for a physical in-the-moment threat to life and limb. You survive. But in reality this was never a situation where your survival was in question. And so you live like a prey animal when there was no predator. And your chance at using this challenging experience of vulnerability to grow into more you is gone. Instead you hunker down and wire up to fight or flee from something that is not danger.
Vulnerability is the reality for most of us most of the time. Vulnerability means that we are faced with uncertainty or limits to our ultimate control over outcomes that matter to us. Forces larger than us, other than ourselves our will our intention, our desire, our actions contribute to the outcome and we can deny it as we may, that is a fact of being alive.
When you can answer the phonecall from the body with warm, slow attention you soothe and settle the body. Then you can drop down into deeper levels of yourself, into emotions that speak to you of what is true for you. Your authentic experience opens itself to you and you are informed and energized. You know what matters and you have the energy to do what you need to. That is called coping. And that is what resilient people do. They are able to come to terms with things, to accept what is, and can work to change what they can. They can grieve losses and fight wrongs. They know when to hold 'em and know when to fold 'em.
In the video that accompanies this week's blog I talk a bit about what it feels like to enter the heart of resilence by staying with the body and feeling the complex and deep truth of who you are. Take a breath and tune in and let yourself feel the power of your presence. The heart of resllience is your own loving attention as you stay with your body when you are vulnerable. And you are so very worth it.
To access this video please click here: http://www.youtube.com/user/DrSandraParker#p/u/0/K-aV8KqIlXo