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The Centre of Attention (June 12, 2010)

Are you ever the centre of your attentIon?

I know I know - we don't want to be selfish and we don't want to be seen as self absorbed...  but still... 

What if you were allowed to be the focus of your full attention?  Just for a few moments.  Once a day perhaps.

What if you could let yourself tune in to the everchanging landcape of your inner experience?  What about right now?  Can you bring the light of your awareness to the rich mixture of what is happening right now inside you?

Begin with your body.  Notice that your body is not a lump.  It is not merely a support system for your brain.  Your body is a complex network of interconnected systems, brimming with intelligence.  And right now it wants your attention.

Listen to the hum of your body, the little tensings and holding and pulsing aliveness of it.  Notice where it is uncomfortable and where it is easy.  Investigate with warm interest.  Do not come in like a tyrant, demanding that your body be this way or that way, without even hearing what it actually feels like.  Be with it and notice.  With precision.  Without judgement.  Even if it does not feel good.  Especially if it does not feel good.

We are making the choice to matter.  We are making the choice to approach.

This choosing is not easy.  Our natural urge when we are aware of the body is to avoid, simply because the body is the paramount example of our human vulnerability. 

The body...  Talk about vulnerability!  Limits to our ultimate control over outcomes that matter?...  Try pain, aging, illness, emotions...   and the ongoing flow of inner experience that originates outside our awareness and literally touches us via sensations in our bodies...  and then (if we let it) carries us to new and unexpected places...  But unexpected feels uncertain and uncertain feels vulnerable and vulnerable feels like dissonance and so we are tempted to avoid.

But we can make another choice.  We can tune in and feel that dissonance.  And when we do we feel more present.  We are in the moment.  We are more ourselves.  More connected.  And now more able to connect authentically with others.  So this choice to tune in and be with ourselves and notice without judgement is a gift.  First to you, and then to us.

Go ahead.  Take a moment and soak up the light of your awareness.  Be the centre of attention. 

Let yourself matter, and let yourself be surprised at all the good it does - for you and for all of us.

 Photo Credit:  "You are a star" by ELB Photos

Dr. Sandra Parker, copyright 2009 - Dr. Sandra Parker. The stories & quotes in this blog are fictional. Creative commons attribution, non-commercial sharing only. (translation: feel free to quote me in context or use this entry but please always credit me for my work, thanks.) http://www.DrSandraParker.com

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#1 Sam on 6.14.2010 at 4:42 PM

I wonder lately if sometimes the drive to escape being in my body is that I can feel sensations that are uncomfortable and almost identical to those that I had as a child. And as a child, no one was around to help me with extremely distressing feelings. Distress ate away at me. Now, in certain circumstances, I will feel something inside of me - stomach pains most often and I am taken back to that little girl who lived with stomach pains from excessive anxiety. There is almost this inner voice that says "Damn it, I will not go back there." In the end, over and over, if I say that, I go back and sink deeper in despair. When I have help being with me, I come out the other end without getting entrenched in the past. Eventually, I hope that this instinctive drive to run as fast as possible will quiet down.

#2 Chuckles on 6.15.2010 at 10:46 AM

I know what you mean. Perhaps you could try this..it has helped me. As you quieten yourself, before you start the body "entry", visualize the little girl, let her know that YOU are there for her, to hold her, reassure her and love her unconditionnaly. As the pains start to manifest themselves, keep talking to her letting her know that this time is different...your wiser adult is here for her, to help her re-visit her fears and to support her. Repeat, repeat repeat..it took a long time to develop this dissonance. It will take a while to undo the damage that was done. Love yourself enough to keep trying. Failure is only if you stop trying. Go for it! Know that you are not alone in this incredible voyage. Thanks for sharing you have helped me realize how far I have come.

#3 Karen on 6.19.2010 at 1:27 PM

When I first started remembering and then looking into the terrible things that had been done to me and scarey situations that I had witnessed as a child, the little girl in me was very powerful....she would holler, run, run, run as fast as you can, it is not safe for you here and I would listen and run and disassociate and do whatever it took to not stay in my body and sadly, to not stay with her.

Unfortunately, the message that I was sending to her was that she was right, it was not safe, it never had been safe and never will be safe and that we had to keep running or bad things would happen to us. I was not the adult; I was not there for her; I had abandoned her just like so many others.

Chuckles is right...it takes practice, practice, practice; doing and saying the same things over and over again; noticing sooner the tension in our body and then moving in with love and support.

I am now finding that there is more adult in me than scared little girl, but, I still have to work on noticing her, remembering her, loving her, comforting and soothing that little child that was once me and still is and always will be. She needs me and I want to be there for her and for myself.

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