My office is located right above the Olympic Athlete's Village and out my windows over the past two weeks I have witnessed the magic mushrooming of bright blue tents. Each day there are more and more. All along the Yaletown waterfront and at the foot of the Cambie Bridge the tents are lined like barracks for the army of people soon to descend upon our beautiful warm wet city.
The Vancouver 2010 Winter Olympics are coming. Any day now. Skiing, luge, curling, skating, hockey - "Higher, Stronger, Faster"...
Yes, we are hosting the Olympics and it is an honour. And (at the risk of sounding negative) it is also a hassle.
We are showing our home to the world and in exchange we are being asked to tolerate multiple disruptions in our daily lives: crowds, business closures, road closures, bridge closures, security procedures, parking restrictions.
During this time we will have our vulnerability put right in our faces. We will experience uncertainty and limits to our personal control over outcomes that matter to us. Will we get where we need to go? On time? At all? Will we be able to get to our appointments, and will our doctor/ chiropractor/ vet/ hairdresser also get there? Will we remember to wear flat shoes for the walking and the waiting? And how will they look with that groovy new outfit? (Never mind the new outfit - you'll need Gore-Tex and warm...) And will we bring something to eat and drink as we wait so we don't swoon? But not so much that we will need to use a toilet since Vancouver doesn't have any...
In my case, almost a third of my p
ractice has cancelled for two to three weeks, either having left town or simply not being willing to come into the city so near to the centre of the action with no assurance of the timing of things. And that number could rise in the next week and a half as folks discover how gridlocked (or not) the city becomes. Because we don't yet really know for sure...
Little daily things, but still... And as with so many things in life, we have no choice about it now. It will occur. That is not in our control. But as is always the case, we have the choice of how we are going to be with ourselves as we deal with the experience.
And that is why I am proposing the 2010 Winter Olympics of Mattering.
For two weeks I invite you to strive for your personal best as you are hopeful, late, rushing, waiting, jostled, hungry, tired, excited, proud, and vulnerable. The Olympic sports (so far) include:
- Listening to your call to growth - how quickly can you identify your particular body signal letting you know that you are not the ultimate boss of everything? Do you notice your held breath, your tight diphragm, your fidgity fingers or feet, your clenched jaw, your tight back, your jumpiness, your hunched shoulders... This is the foundation sport, because if you don't hear your call you can't grow. The challenge in this sport is the built-in tendency to ignore signs and symptoms of stress. We need to lower the bar for noticing our call.
- Tolerating what you feel in your body - how precisely can you locate sensations in the body and name what you feel? This sport helps link right-brain and left brain processes. This sport is very hard to do because we are so wired to avoid discomfort and often we are Olympic athletes at escaping into defenses. Those defenses include all the ways we move away from the experience of vulnerability, including worrying, controlling, busy-ness, eating, drinking, shopping, numbing, exercise, hopelessness, temper tantrums, pleasing others, avoiding things... and on and on... We need to soften ourselves to ourselves rather than harden against ourselves.
- Caring about yourself - how much can you slow down and really feel the nuances and complexity of what it feels like to be You? Can you stay with yourself enough that the body recognizes your presence? Can you feel yourself enter into a dialogue with your body? As it feels your attention the do you sense your body release and calm? Do you gain access to more of your coping resources such as humour, patience, flexibility, creativity, perspective, and compassion? The challenge in this sport is going slow enough for the body to register your care and attention.
The Olympics of Mattering involve the motto: "Lower, Softer, Slower".
- Lower the bar for hearing your call to growth
- Soften to what you feel
- Slow down and stay with it.
Feel free to come up with your own Sports of Mattering as you practice being with yourself in the challenge and uncertainty of the next few weeks. And let me know how it goes for you as we welcome the world and still try to get on with our lives.
If we are allowed to feel the full range of what we feel, if we are allowed to matter, we will bounce beautifully. Let's use this experience to benefit ourselves, to further practice being with ourselves with warmth, interest and nonjudgement. Even if for only a moment or two we can tune in and send a message to the body that it is not in danger, that we are really facing limits to our personal control but not threat to life and limb, we will have done ourselves a great kindness. For that alone we each deserve a medal!
Photo Credit: D. Beder Photography